August 21st, 2014

sassysinglelady:

What was the original purpose for this website because something went wrong along the way

(via ruinedchildhood)

710642:

well? can he????

710642:

well? can he????

(via thats-so-meme)

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

(Source: bellecs)

August 20th, 2014
outrageousmouth:

quiet-dominant:

submissivefeminist:

wearethefracturedskies:

okay
today i wore a v-neck to school, something that is totally normal for 99% of the girls there, one of the girls in my french class was wearing one similar to mine in fact.
but my french teacher came up to me and told me that i was out of dress code and that i was asking for something to happen to me.
and all day long i had to slap guys who found it perfectly okay to grab them.
im a 32DDD, 5’1, and 115 pounds. due to this im known around the school as the walking boobs, the girl who grew in other places, and BITS. I constantly get called a whore and a tease. 
Girls are always accusing their boyfriends of sleeping with me.
and there have been times when i have had to tell teachers that my eyes are up here.
i grew boobs in the eighth grade, i was a DD then, and i cant tell you how many fights i got into with guys who thought it was alright to stick their faces in them. 
the point of all of this is that its bullshit. 
i should be able to wear a v neck to school without worrying about who is going to grab my boobs next, or who is going to throw a gum wrapper in them, or what girls are going to say next.

Fuck that shit! I would report any teacher that needs to be reminded not to stare at your chest. That is not okay in any sense.
Also, I’d say screw slut-shaming, but this isn’t even a matter of dressing how one wants, but a matter of a woman’s natural state being the reason that men think it’s okay to sexual harass or assault her.
Large breasts are not an invitation.
Large breasts are not an invitation.
LARGE BREASTS ARE NOT AN INVITATION.
Are we clear?
xx SF

Reblog and Amplify.

Hey, this is something that happens to me as an adult, on a daily basis.

outrageousmouth:

quiet-dominant:

submissivefeminist:

wearethefracturedskies:

okay

today i wore a v-neck to school, something that is totally normal for 99% of the girls there, one of the girls in my french class was wearing one similar to mine in fact.

but my french teacher came up to me and told me that i was out of dress code and that i was asking for something to happen to me.

and all day long i had to slap guys who found it perfectly okay to grab them.

im a 32DDD, 5’1, and 115 pounds. due to this im known around the school as the walking boobs, the girl who grew in other places, and BITS. I constantly get called a whore and a tease. 

Girls are always accusing their boyfriends of sleeping with me.

and there have been times when i have had to tell teachers that my eyes are up here.

i grew boobs in the eighth grade, i was a DD then, and i cant tell you how many fights i got into with guys who thought it was alright to stick their faces in them. 

the point of all of this is that its bullshit. 

i should be able to wear a v neck to school without worrying about who is going to grab my boobs next, or who is going to throw a gum wrapper in them, or what girls are going to say next.

Fuck that shit! I would report any teacher that needs to be reminded not to stare at your chest. That is not okay in any sense.

Also, I’d say screw slut-shaming, but this isn’t even a matter of dressing how one wants, but a matter of a woman’s natural state being the reason that men think it’s okay to sexual harass or assault her.

  • Large breasts are not an invitation.
  • Large breasts are not an invitation.
  • LARGE BREASTS ARE NOT AN INVITATION.

Are we clear?

xx SF

Reblog and Amplify.

Hey, this is something that happens to me as an adult, on a daily basis.

(Source: maybejustalittleemo, via wonderlantis)

(Source: cocknurse, via imsoaustinchang)

pandabearjayy:

Oh my goodness

(Source: emedemabri, via xxmissarichanxx)

shirtoid:

A New Wind by Home is $11 today (8/12) at TeeFury

shirtoid:

A New Wind by Home is $11 today (8/12) at TeeFury

(via crash-0veride)

femgermania:

captain-boomerang:

(original post here)

thAT ACTUALLY FITS REALLY WELL HOLY SHIT

(via samandriel)

BRUH
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY DO I KEEP SAYING IT?? MY MOM TOLD ME TO CLEAN MY ROOM TODAY AND I LOOKED HER STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAID “BRUH” (via isnowfairy)

(via ruinedchildhood)